he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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