I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
the raccoons are back...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
