Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
