I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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