i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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