I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
