So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
