'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's just like the Real World with babies
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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