I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
