He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
