the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
