after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
