I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
