You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
