I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Randomize
