Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
