would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
