hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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