I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
me + whiskey = a bad person
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
