So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
