spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
