Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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