Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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