I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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