ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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