So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Someone signed my nipple.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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