Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
