idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
