Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
