We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
