Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
