names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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