we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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