He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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