I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
