my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
