Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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