i think my tv is drunk
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
