Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
