dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
