You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
