i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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