I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
