it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize