Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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