Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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