wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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