Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
