On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
