Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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