Whod you bang
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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