If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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