There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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