On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
