it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
