Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
