i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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