the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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