do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
