Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
