Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
