Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
