Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
