Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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