she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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