yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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