My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
