Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize