she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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