She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
